We dropped the price on our house and made sure to syndicate it (it wasn’t showing up on Zillow) last week so I’ve been getting back into the habit of getting the house “show ready” every morning when we leave. We ask for a 2-hour notice (minimum) so we can get home and put the cats up and take Sweetie somewhere, so I basically just get it on the very EDGE of ready. I was a little worried how all of that would go on the morning of the first day of school, so I woke up at 3am yesterday.
Naturally, of course. I don’t use an alarm. My subconscious just decided that was the time I needed to wake up to give myself enough time to do everything I needed to do. My subconscious nailed it.
I blogged, cooked mac-n-cheese (we’re trying “hot” elements to our lunch this year), showered, put some laundry up, packed the rest of the lunches, got the kids up, got them showered and fed, made beds, put up laundry baskets and towels and we were out of the house at 7am. I was SUPER-proud of myself.
Then I got the request late at work yesterday for a showing request…TODAY. I knew this meant that I’d need to mow the grass when I got home. I had been putting off mowing the grass but we had a day full of rain Tuesday and lots of sun yesterday so I knew the grass would REALLY be needing to be mowed, and when I got home that was confirmed. I got the 5-minute daily summary from the kids and then mowed the grass while I still had light. Then I went to do a little bit of trimming/weeding type stuff when Nikki came out and was teetering on the edge of a panic attack.
“I just need to come out here and clear my head.”
My overtired stressed response was ALMOST, “UGGG. It’s only the first day and you’re already panicking?”
(Sometimes even someone with anxiety reacts terribly to their child’s anxiety.)
BUT I DID NOT DO/SAY THAT!
Instead I took my OWN deep breath and asked her to sit on the wall while I weeded and talk to me. We figured out the root of her stress and some actions she could take to resolve it. We agreed there were some things out of her control, but we did what we could to control HER part and she felt MUCH better. (I always ask, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” You find out a lot with that simple question, in terms of what they’re worried about.) She did some of the things I suggested and ran them by me while I worked and it was great. I felt so much more accomplished helping her work through that moment than any show-ready prep that morning or lawn care that evening.
I finally cooked the kids “dinner” (quesadillas) at 7:15pm and then hit the paperwork they brought home from the first day. The paperwork isn’t as bad as it used to be, there’s a lot of it online now. (THANK GOD.) But informative papers and permission slips still had to be dealt with. 8:15 and I was FINALLY ready for bed, knowing the imminent showing would wake me early this morning and I could do the rest of the house prep then.
(I was right. I woke up at 2:45am.)
Some days I feel like I’m a basket full of failure, but yesterday? Yesterday was a good day. I didn’t run and I didn’t eat great but my husband is working 60+ hours this week and training for a 100-miler and I still managed to keep my shit together. I was even able to REALLY help my daughter through her anxiety while I was simultaneously dealing with my own.
Three hours yesterday. I did the math. I spent three hours yesterday dealing with domestic crap I wouldn’t have done if our house wasn’t on the market. I would have let the grass sit until the weekend. I wouldn’t have mopped for the 14th time this week. I wouldn’t have swept. AGAIN. There’s so many things I do daily now that I normally only do weekly. AT BEST. It’s frustrating.
But yesterday was good and today we have a showing. Send as many good thoughts as you can spare to our world because I really need this house to sell soon. Soccer starts next week and I’m fairly certain that’s one ball too many.