This is Allergy Season for me, the 1-2 months a year where I’m staying at a moderate level of miserable depending on weather and amount of hours outdoors. Because of the weird drainage, I tend to get a cough when I go prone at bedtime. I tried a few nights of sleeping upright on the couch, but it wasn’t working so I’ve been chugging cough medicine every night which is helping me sleep through coughing (sneezing is another story) but I wake up not feeling like I’ve slept at all. It’s weird. I got a good 7 hours or more last night yet I struggled to get out of bed an hour later than usual. COUGH MEDICINE IS TERRIBLE.
Anyway – this week I’ve been weirdly groggy and I’ve had trouble getting going and focusing in the mornings. SO! I shifted things around. Usually I drink all of the coffee, blog, housework, and then shower. This morning I made the coffee but then GOT IN THE SHOWER. WHAT? I showered BEFORE blogging and y’all, I’ll be honest, it feels really weird to be blogging clean.
I also keep feeling like I should be leaving because usually showering is the LAST step of the day, not the FIRST. Now I’m clean for EVERYTHING and I can’t tell if I love it or if it’s really disconcerting. (If you’re seen the featured image of me and my coffee with this post, then you’re seeing the “Clean While Blogging” selfie I posted to document HOW WEIRD this all was.)
I go back and forth on the necessities of routines in my life. When it comes to running I need routines, which I’ve gotten out of since the last bad fall. (Good news: Pain in knee seems significantly reduced today which is good because I’m trying running again tonight!) But sometimes I feel like I use my routines as a weird crutch. Like, if my routine is off I say, “Well – if that’s off then LETS JUST LET EVERYTHING BE OFF!” Any weird shift in a relatively normal routine and I allow myself french fries 4 times a day and cookies around every turn. It’s like I give myself permission to eat ALL of my feelings if a day does not follow an expected routine.
ISN’T THAT WEIRD?
So sometimes I feel like I should intentionally shake things up and challenge myself to still avoid the Eating Of The Feelings which is what I’ve been doing every day since my schedule has been so insane lately. Maybe today will be that challenge! A day to prove to myself that just because the schedule isn’t following an expected pattern, doesn’t mean I can throw all caution to the wind and give up on all efforts to be reasonable with my food intake.
Because I don’t think I’ll ever have a “normal” routine again. The kids are too old with their own extra-curriculars, I have two volunteer jobs, my husband and I are both training for big races, AND we randomly get calls demanding we leave our house (after cleaning it of course) for showings. Truthfully? Every day is just a crapshoot and who knows what is going to happen when. I need to let go of the hope of a routine to follow to keep me within healthy eating habits, and I need to learn to control my emotional urges to binge no matter how insane the day is. Maybe find routine in other ways? Like randomly break into song every three hours? That would be hilarious.
Anyway. So today seems like a good day to give it a try. To recognize there is NO routine any more and I need to accept that and try to still make good choices even amidst the chaos of life.