Donnie and I had already been dating for 3 years when we finally got married. It took so long because I was already divorced and had spent some time after that split convincing myself I was not meant for marriage.
My wedding day was one of the best days of my life. I cried tears of joy and savored every moment of it. It was truly what a wedding should be. I planned it myself and every detail represented something special to us.
But I assure you – we are no where near the same people today we were then.
We’ve had our ups and downs along the way. Many of the downs around becoming parents and the painful journey it took to get there. But then we’ve had some downs that just involved us finding new directions in our life.
After all of that I can say without one hesitation – I am in a better relationship now than I was the day I got married.
I often joke with people that boot camp saved my marriage. Not that it was really ever in “jeopardy” – but I was becoming so bitter with Donnie doing his triathlon training (which takes a LOT of time away from family) while I did all of the domestic stuff, that I was rarely ever just happy. I finally joined boot camp and started learning the joys of having something that was only for ME, not for the family, and it paved the road to running which we now do together.
Sunday we went and ran 19 miles on the trails together. And while we weren’t really together as he’s significantly faster than me, every few miles he was there waiting for me to catch up at an intersection. Part of the fun was just being out there together, and part of it was me showing him the trails as I started learning them last winter. We hired a babysitter, not for a night of dinner and a movie, but for an early morning doing something seriously badass like trail running.
I would have never believed that things could get better in a marriage, especially not when you find yourself as bitter as I was. It didn’t help that I wasn’t working which I didn’t cope with well either. But I was just ugly toward him and anything he was proud to accomplish. Now? I cry tears of pride when he crosses finish lines and I stay up late making posters to hold at his races. Starting the journey to fitness so I could join him on his journey? Made all of the difference in the world. We are closer now than we’ve ever been and we’ve come up over several mountains to see the gorgeous view of our lives we’ve built along the way.
I can’t wait to see what we build over the next 9 years.