Better With Age.

Donnie and I had already been dating for 3 years when we finally got married. It took so long because I was already divorced and had spent some time after that split convincing myself I was not meant for marriage.

My wedding day was one of the best days of my life. I cried tears of joy and savored every moment of it. It was truly what a wedding should be. I planned it myself and every detail represented something special to us.

But I assure you – we are no where near the same people today we were then.

We’ve had our ups and downs along the way. Many of the downs around becoming parents and the painful journey it took to get there. But then we’ve had some downs that just involved us finding new directions in our life.

After all of that I can say without one hesitation – I am in a better relationship now than I was the day I got married.

I often joke with people that boot camp saved my marriage. Not that it was really ever in “jeopardy” – but I was becoming so bitter with Donnie doing his triathlon training (which takes a LOT of time away from family) while I did all of the domestic stuff, that I was rarely ever just happy. I finally joined boot camp and started learning the joys of having something that was only for ME, not for the family, and it paved the road to running which we now do together.

Sunday we went and ran 19 miles on the trails together. And while we weren’t really together as he’s significantly faster than me, every few miles he was there waiting for me to catch up at an intersection. Part of the fun was just being out there together, and part of it was me showing him the trails as I started learning them last winter. We hired a babysitter, not for a night of dinner and a movie, but for an early morning doing something seriously badass like trail running.

I would have never believed that things could get better in a marriage, especially not when you find yourself as bitter as I was. It didn’t help that I wasn’t working which I didn’t cope with well either. But I was just ugly toward him and anything he was proud to accomplish. Now? I cry tears of pride when he crosses finish lines and I stay up late making posters to hold at his races. Starting the journey to fitness so I could join him on his journey? Made all of the difference in the world. We are closer now than we’ve ever been and we’ve come up over several mountains to see the gorgeous view of our lives we’ve built along the way.

I can’t wait to see what we build over the next 9 years.

10 thoughts on “Better With Age.

  1. yuetching says:

    I am so happy you found someone whom you are so good with. The picture is beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Well, I guess I should share that I am still a cynic and have not much faith in marriage or a happy relationship, and am used to thinking this. But the love in your picture is really beautiful and heartwarming. x and have been following your blog for quite a while from when I stumbled onto your blog. Can’t believe how much Lilz has grown. ^^ Feel so proud of him too, almost like a sister. & Wes’s candidness about death is just hilarious =P xx ~~Singapore

  2. Lisa!! says:

    Happy anniversary, Kim and Donnie! This love you write about is apparent and I absolutely LOVE to feel (and read) about it. It not only makes me smile, but it also reminds me about expectations in my young marriage. People have told me, “oh you think you love Chris more than anything now…well just wait until you’re looking back 10-20 years and you realize how much deeper your love has grown.” Enjoy today and each moment. Love you guys!

  3. Monica says:

    Congratulations and happy anniversary! I hope you have that picture of the two of you framed and hung up in your house because it is wonderful!

  4. I love these posts! People need to be reminded that people can get closer and happier over time, that there isn’t law that you have to grow apart as time goes on. I am so tired, after 14 years together and 8 married years, of people STILL telling me it’s just a matter of time before we stop liking each other.

    Happy anniversary! Love to you both.

  5. Stacey says:

    Congratulations on 9 years! What an accomplishment!

    We did things a little backwards from you. We married 14, gulp, yes 14 years ago. Spent the first 5 years of marriage going to school full time and working full time then ran our first two marathons together, got some triathlons under our belts and had some grand adventures. 9 years in we welcomed our first baby, 2 years later our second. We have an annual date at the Monte Sano 10K and squeeze in race dates when we can but boy do we miss running, swimming, carousing together, when life was just so different pre-kids! I think more people would have great relationships if they were more like you guys, willing to cheer each other on in their loves and joining in in just the icing on the cake!

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