Back To Reality. Again.

Coming back from vacation is hard. ESPECIALLY when you made a point to disconnect for an entire week. But we came back Friday, I left for Knoxville on Saturday to visit my aunt in the hospital, she died that night so I came back on Sunday to work for ONE DAY and close on my house and then I left again on Tuesday to go back to Knoxville where we had non-stop services and time with family and then we left to come back home yesterday and I woke up this morning having no clue about what day it was or what time it was or what city I was in or what time zone I was in and WHY IS THIS DOG SNIFFING AT MY FACE?

Oh yeah. I’m home. I have to walk my dog.

We all curled up on the couches last night to catch up on our Superhero TV (Flash and Supergirl) and so I stayed out of the world of “reality” for a little bit longer. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on in the news or even in my friend’s and family’s lives. I’ve opened social media just enough to share out photos of family so other family could see and to update everyone on where I was. I was going back and forth so often, no one could really keep up with where I was.

So today I need to spend time tethering myself back to reality in some way because I’m very out of touch. I’m not sure the best or most organized way to do that. I had a routine before two weeks ago: News, politics, blogging, work, home, etc. Now I’m just frazzled. Part of me almost wishes it was Monday because I’m going to start the “re-tether” process and then BAM! it’s the weekend.

But I’m back. It was so great to see family and I wish we had more happy occasions to celebrate so we didn’t just gather at funerals. It was great with cousins and with aunts and uncles and most importantly: I got to see my brother and his wife and kids who drove 22 HOURS to Knoxville. WITH TWO SMALL CHILDREN. CAN YOU IMAGINE?

And it was also great with Nikki. She wanted to go with me. She actually went with me to visit Marie in the hospital last Friday and then I came by myself Saturday and she came back with me to the services. It was great spending that special time with her. She heard a lot of family stories and memories, she experienced a Catholic Mass, she met a WHOLE LOT OF NUNS, it was great.

The one BIG BAD thing that happened was in the chaos, she left her pillow pet at the hotel when we checked out and when we called they didn’t have it. I guess someone stole it? We know that’s where she left it (it was pretty soon after we checked out that she remembered) but they don’t have it anywhere and she is DEVASTATED. And dude – I get it – I still have my “animal” from my childhood and I’m 41. I’d be broken-hearted it if disappeared. She’s too old to “trick” with a new one and hers had been loved too long for a new one to suffice. We’re going to try to get a replacement SOMETHING, but we’re not sure what. But even that idea isn’t appealing to her.

So – please send thoughts out into the universe that the hotel finds the pillow pet and calls me. I’ve lost hope as it’s been several days. And think of me re-tethering, my anxiety is such that it snowballs when I’ve had too much chaos in my life and I can feel myself at that brink now so I need to re-connect to the people and the obligations and the things that keep me grounded as I feel like I’m floating away amidst a whirlwind of travel and sadness and memories.

Here’s to settling in to normalcy. It’s been awhile.

5 Comments

  • Colleen

    Glad you are back and I hope to see you soon! I recommend calling the hotel back, rather than waiting for them to call you. It worked for my watch! Although it didn’t work for my engagement ring 🙁 I know what you mean about feeling frazzled and disconnected. I went on vacation too and then immediately on an intense work trip and I’m still feeling kind of lost and behind. Plus I have the scary task of needing to talk with a reporter about a project I’m working on. Phone anxiety to an extreme!

  • Rowan

    My daughter left her blankie at a hotel once, and when they checked the room, they said it wasn’t there. However, a few days later they called and said they found it, it was wrapped up in the sheets and they didn’t find it till the sheets went through the laundry. So maybe they find your daughter’s pillow pet in the sheets? Positive thoughts for you!

  • supertiff

    have nikki read The Velveteen Rabbit. i gave a copy to a grown up friend after she lost her animal on her honeymoon. that was sixteen years ago and she still brings it up as something that helped her. ?

  • Lucy McConville

    Oh my gosh, this happened to my daughter when she was 7… Went on a vacation to Hawaii and amid all the travel transfers (air plane to shuttle to rental car) we LOST “Piggy”. Ok, this was FOURTEEN YEARS ago, and I STILL feel the pain of it! I SO feel you with the loss of Nikki’s pillow pet! I’m so sorry this happened. Maybe it will help if you tell her it was the Universe taking her pillow pet to give to Aunt Marie, wherever she might be now, to comfort her…? An idea.
    Love, Lucy

  • Cara

    Whew. I’m worn out just reading this, and poor Nikki losing her pillow pet is the final blow. Please remember that prioritizing self-care needs to be part of your re-entry to life.