• When A Dumb Goal Seems To Carry Something Bigger.

    Before we get started: I got so much kind feedback on yesterday’s post! Thanks! Honestly? It helped me too! I mean, I hadn’t sat down and REALLY compared my childhood to my kid’s yet and I realized there were just as many terrible distractions I was obsessed with as my kids are and – eh – I guess every generation has that? Anyway. It helped me as much as it helped you.

    Okay. So I’ve always loved reading. Reading was my escape during the years I now realize I was suffering from major mental health issues. We would go to the library every two weeks and Dad let us check out 3-4 books and I just loved escaping into worlds not my own. I also read all of the VC Andrews and Dean Koontz and Danielle Steel at my Mom’s house. I just loved reading. I always have. 

    But I have also always gone through these phases where I read non-stop – 10 books in a month – and then I’ll go months without reading anything. Over time I made the connection with how books STILL seem to help me with my mental health issues. I think it’s because I always have this constant hum of sadness or worry under the surface. It’s always there. 100% of the time there is this layer of pain under everything in my life. When that layer becomes more intrusive, medication helps, but it is 100% always there. It’s something I’ve just accepted and my goal is to manage my mental health around it.

    WHICH! I have found is much easier when I have a book to read during the “off” times instead of surfing social media or killing time mindlessly on the internet.  SO! In January – LONG BEFORE I REALIZED HOW MANY BAD THINGS WERE GOING TO HAPPEN THIS YEAR – I set a goal to read 100 books in 2018. And then…THEN, I lost my job, my Mom had her wreck, and I started driving to Knoxville several times a week to help. So, you know, I really need all of the baseline help I could get.

    I did okay. The months around Mom’s wreck and the transition to spending so much time in Knoxville I didn’t read a lot, but as of right now I’ve read 79 books I think. And that is just SO CLOSE TO MEETING MY GOAL. I know it’s a weird arbitrary goal to strive for because I fail at goals all the time, I don’t know why I’m so hung up on this one. I’m a big believer in setting a goal because any step you take towards it is not wasted, so I don’t really panic if I don’t REACH the goals. But for some reason I REALLY WANT TO REACH THIS GOAL. It’s like it’s giving me some sort of way to redeem 2018 when I lost my job, threw a financial hardship on my family, and then compounded that by disappearing for half of every week for 6+ months.

    I NEED REDEMPTION. 

    I’ve read a HUGE variety of books so far. I’ve done 4 re-reads in the form of audio books (I can only do audio on a re-read or a non-fiction because my mind wanders too much), and I think 4 comic book collections, but the rest have been held-in-my-hands “real” books. I’ve read non-fiction and fiction. I’ve read YA and not. I’ve made a point of trying to read diverse authors and stories. So now we’re down to the last 20 books and I need your help. I need QUICK TO READ books. Preferably not benign – I’d like to at least try to give some diverse author/diverse story points while reading them. But I’m talking about page-turners that aren’t so heavy I need to take breaks from them.  

    I REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS GOAL, GUYS. I have a few books lined up. These are the last three books I read and I read all of them in 4 days SO I CAN DO THIS. I just need your help. 

    This is a good assortment of the type of books I like too. They were all excellent. Page-turning, easy to read, didn’t weigh me down so much that I had to step away. LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM!

    Send me your recommendations! HELP ME DO THIS!