A Surprising Tether
For 1-2 weeks I usually have to carry around 2 bullet journals as I transition because I’ll put the “new” week in the “new” journal but the current week is in the old one. This was me Wednesday night, as I had the old one at Target in the shopping cart with my Thanksgiving grocery list page open, but the new one was in my purse. Fast forward to Friday when I was at work and realized the old one was not in my purse. Since the new one was, I didn’t recognize anything was missing in terms of weight. I didn’t think too much of it because I just assumed I had left it at home. Then, Saturday morning I tore the house apart and couldn’t find it. And the last time I remembered having it was at Target. I was ready when they opened the doors at 7am on Saturday morning, not for their sales but for their Lost and Found.
And it was not there. The girl checked the book where they’re supposed to register items and didn’t see any notebook listed but seeing my distress she pulled out the basked to search anyway…just in case. It was not there.
I spent most of Saturday trying not to think of all of the things lost in that bullet journal. A prayer card from my friend Mike’s funeral, tickets from seeing the podcast shows with my husband, the program from the John Green event I went to with E, the wedding invitation from when I officiated for the Doctor Who and Zelda fans…all of those things were lost. I kept reminding myself that those things would have just been thrown away in the pre-bullet journal days, but I’ve been using this system for three years now, I can barely remember the days when I threw away stuff like that.
I did check every nook and cranny again Sunday morning and then went back to Target to check all of the drains by the shopping cart returns thinking maybe it had fallen out of the shopping cart. I just couldn’t imagine someone not returning it to me. It was obviously so personal and had my email AND phone number in it. Why would they keep it?
When Target opened I went to Lost and Found again, and the same girl was working. I said, “I don’t know if you remember me but I came in yesterday looking for my blue notebook,” and she immediately lit up and said, “Yes! The notebook!” She went to some drawer, opened it up and pulled it out, and I started crying. “Thank you so much! You have no idea! This is my life!” I just couldn’t control the tears. I was so happy. It turns out after I left yesterday, while she worked, she just periodically would think to check other nooks and crannies behind the counter where people who don’t know better might put stuff found in the store. I guess there’s like a “locked” drawer for things like wallets and she considered maybe someone considered it more like a wallet and boom! There it was! She was hoping I would come back in (she knows I’m a regular) – she didn’t even look at it to see if there was a phone number as it was obviously personal.
I’ve had a weird few weeks, my headspace has been strange. And somehow the thought of losing that bullet journal really upset me much more than I thought it would. I think it was some sort of physical reminder of all of the good things in my life to keep me grounded when I’m drowning in my depressive fogs which happens periodically. I don’t think I realize how important of a tether that thing was until I thought it was gone. It is not on the shelf where it belongs as this week is officially the start of the new volume.