Seriously. Don’t Read This Post.

At least if you’re a boy. Seriously. If you’re a boy this will be too much for you and feel free to come back tomorrow when I talk about my new favorite TV shows.

Or, if you’re a woman who does not want to hear about the nightmare it is living with my reproductive system, feel free to turn away.

I am writing this entry because I don’t feel like my husband truly understands the misery I’ve been living this week so I need to tell other people (WOMEN) who will hear this and give me the, “Oh…hon. Bless your heart…” I’ve been needing.

But seriously. I’m going to be as delicate as possible but my endometriosis and fibroids have been making my live beyond miserable this week and it’s not pretty. This your last chance to turn away. TURN AWAY!

So, in reality, uterine fibroids and endometriosis both cause reproductive misery. Anyone who suffers from either deserves a huge hug. Although, menorrhagia (extremely heaving menstrual bleeding) tends to be associated with fibroids and the severe pain (including pain for the 2 weeks before menstruation) tends to be associated with endometriosis. Since I have been diagnosed with both, it tends to blend together for me. (AWESOME.)

Since my miscarriage and D&C last summer, I feel like every menstrual cycle has been worse than the one before. This is why we’re moving forward with the ablation. (First appointment? July 17th, hopefully we’ll schedule the procedure soon after!) But this month has reached new levels of awful.

First of all – before these last few months it’s always been the pain that keeps me home. The menorrhagia sucks, but the pain sucks worse. But since the miscarriage? The bleeding started becoming worse than the pain. And the pain didn’t subside at all, the bleeding just got worse.

For those of you wondering what the exact definition of menorrhagia is, here’s a good one, “A normal menstrual cycle is 25–35 days in duration, with bleeding lasting an average of 5 days and total blood flow between 25 and 80 mL. A blood loss of greater than 80 ml or lasting longer than 7 days constitutes menorrhagia.” For those of you not fluent in menstruation blood flow, a tampon holds about 5ml. So, a normal period would – just using basic math – use anywhere from 5-16 tampons over the course of a 5-7 day cycle. I’ve used more than that for 10 years. To me, that doesn’t even sound like a period.

But these last few months? It’s been ridiculous. I used to have one day where I used a tampon every hour. That’s bad. That’s menorrhagic. After the miscarriage? That increased to 2 days. And then the last few months the hour decreased. I stopped being able to even go an hour without a backup pad to go with my tampon. Let’s not discuss how many races I had to run this year with a pad and a tampon because I’m lucky enough to have settled into a 28 day cycle where the worse days were always Saturdays. BAH. (My cycle has stretched a bit now, thank god.) This month though? 20 minutes. TWENTY MINUTES. For three days now I’ve had to be prepared for a bathroom trip every 20 minutes. Now, that’s not all day. All day I’m still at about an hour. But for 2-3 hours once or twice a day I can’t leave the house. And I don’t know when that’s coming. I can just feel it. THREE DAYS I’ve basically been trapped in my home. I had to leave yesterday to take Nikki to the doctor and ended up making a big mess of myself because I had to stop and get an Rx for her on the way home and misjudged my timeline.

TWENTY MINUTES.

Last night I went through four super plus tampons in under 2 hours. I was crying about this to Donnie and he was as sympathetic as he could be, “That sounds awful…” but, you know, he just doesn’t get it. Which is why I had to vent here. I need someone to feel REALLY SORRY FOR ME. I know! That’s so selfish! But, dammit, I’m sitting on towels everywhere I go! I’m doing a load of my own laundry a day! I’ve gone through FOUR BOXES OF TAMPONS in the last 10 days because. TWENTY MINUTES. I feel like I just need to say that over and over again. TWENTY MINUTES. That’s how fast I’m going through tampons. There have been several times in the last 3 days where I’ve bled over 20 mL in 2 hours. When the “average” period ranges from 25mL-80mL for the ENTIRE CYCLE. I’m certain I’ve come close to 80mL a day for the last 3 days. If someone tested me now I’m certain I’d be anemic. I have no energy. I’m depressed. I JUST WANT THIS PERIOD TO BE OVER WITH ALREADY.

The good thing is? I work from home now. I can do my job. I used to work in an office and if it was this bad I would just not go into work. I also can take regular baths and use a heating pad and wearing gross clothes I don’t mind messing up. But seriously. MISERY. Every morning I’ve woken up thinking surely TODAY it lightens up some and I’m hopeful for today. Three heavy days is the most I’ve ever suffered through, I’m praying things are better today. But who the hell knows. It’s like my reproductive system knows I’m getting ready to burn the SHIT out of it with an ablation and it wants to treat me to one or two REALLY DREADFUL months before hand, to make sure I’m truly comfortable with my decision.

So…thank you for letting me whine. I’m sorry if I grossed you out. I’m hoping anyone who would be grossed out stopped reading early on.

July 17th. We’ll talk to the doctor, get a checkup, see where we’re at and come up with a plan that starts with an ablation and possibly ends with me yanking out my reproductive system with some BBQ tongs.

(Too much?)

Either way – by the end of the summer I will hopefully get to live a normal life again. One not trapping me in my home for several days a month. One not involving toxic levels of ibuprofen and 6 outfit changes in one day.