This Is A Two-Part Entry: One Part Therapy, One Part Running Babbling.

In my issues dealing with stress eating, I’ve explained how I tend to make 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Two good weeks having a rational relationship with food, and then 3 days of emotional binges. And I don’t mean Oh No! I ate three cookies after dinner!. I mean – I feel like I’m going to puke because I inhaled 3000 calories between the hours of 7pm and 9pm. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.

The last three days have been just that. My anxiety levels area about double what they were on Saturday. Every night, I have had multiple things going on after work and even more adding to my To Do list for when I get home. We have several BIG things coming up in the next two weeks. Two big theater events relating to competitions, a big party, a half-marathon, and GLEE FINALLY COMES BACK NEXT WEEK – MUST FIT THAT IN MY SCHEDULE! My anxiety levels are at code red…BE ON ALERT.

Anyway – I always find that when I come here and say, “I’ve been a bad girl,” it tends to break that streak. I’m hoping writing this downward spiral down will make it STOP HAPPENING. And that I can regain control of my senses before I undo all of the hard work from the last few months. Thank you for humoring me.


CHANGES IN MY LIFE SINCE I BECAME ACTIVE (Or INSANE, depending on your definition of the word.)

  • I love shopping. FOR GEAR. I’ve never been a HUGE shopper, I don’t mind it, but it often feels like a stressful experience. But lately, when I have an excuse to buy something fitness-related I GET GIDDY. I finally bought a long-sleeve technical shirt the other day and I WAS SO EXCITED! And I spent another 30 minutes just walking around the store fantasizing about more money so I could buy more stuff. MORE GEAR!
  • My clothes smell AWFUL. I’ve gotten to that point where most of my running/workout clothes needs to be washed on hot – TWICE – before they don’t smell like death. This may not be necessary anymore as it’s gotten colder and I’m not sweating as much, but the last few weeks of warm weather? OH MY GOD. It was AWFUL. And I’m not typically a stinky person, but this new lifestyle MAKES ME UBER STINKY.
  • I have weird stuff in my car. At any given moments there’s a rubbermaid container full of hand weights, at least one yoga mat, a water bottle or two, some Gu packs (Gu CHOMPS Watermelon flavor are my NEW favorite fuel!), a couple of blinky lights for nightly running, and at least 3 pairs of extra gloves.
  • My baseline “I feel good” level has changed. I’m always sore somewhere, so now I only complain of the pain level is above a 5 on a scale of 1-10. Or higher. I actually kinda like the general achiness because it is a reminder of the hard work I’m doing. Who knew I’d one day think, I’m happy I can’t stand up without wincing!
  • I talk about exercise crap ALL THE TIME. This blog is totally proof of that, but it’s even worse in the real world. I’m constantly talking about my 800 repeat times, or the 100+ push-up we did at boot camp. It’s like when your best friend had a new boyfriend and all she ever did was talk about him? I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND. And when we’re not together running or doing boot camp, I’m talking about him NON-STOP. I guess this is that newlywed/lust stage in the relationship, I’m sure I’ll eventually get tired of him and start complaining about how he left the new toilet paper roll on the floor again. WHY CAN’T HE PUT IT ON THE HOLDER? IT ONLY TAKES ANOTHER TWO SECONDS? But not right now, right now I still think everything he does is adorable so I have to tell everyone I know about him. Luckily Donnie is a fitness buff too, so he doesn’t mind the chatter about tempo runs and shoulder presses. If he wasn’t also in a relationship with the same awesome boyfriend? (This analogy just stopped working.) He might not be as tolerant.

14 thoughts on “This Is A Two-Part Entry: One Part Therapy, One Part Running Babbling.”

  1. Re: smelly gym clothes. Have you tried adding baking soda to your laundry? My husband uses it for his gym clothes and it definitely helps. We have a front loader – I’m pretty sure he dumps the baking soda right on the clothes when he starts the cycle (we buy it in bulk at Sam’s Club).

  2. Have you tried any of the “sport” detergents? I have no idea if they work, but I know they’re out there. I got a sample of one once, but I wasn’t in a place where I had stinky clothes to try it out on. I know Tide makes one. Let me know if it works, since I have intentions of getting to the point you are, where I have constant stinky laundry. What a weird goal, right?

  3. How do you manage to eat 3,000 calories in 2 hours? I’m genuinely curious. Also, for eating that many calories you look fantastic so I’m now that much more curious.

    About your new boyfriend, I’m loving all the workout talk. Why wouldn’t you talk about it when it is a huge part of your life right now and it is inspirational. Keep it up!

    My favorite fuel right now is Honey Stingers. They rock!

  4. I once finished a workout and came home and my husband said “Babe, you smell so bad I thought it was ME”

    Ha. Runners: We are SO sexy.

    (…we are)

  5. I highly recommend those sport detergents – my running clothes REEK unless I use one of those detergents and hot water. They also make a “Sport” Febreze for clothing that I use before I get around to the laundry.

    Stinky clothes are a small price to pay for awesome, though!!

    And I’m with you – I’d rather shop for workout gear than almost anything else!

  6. I was wondering if that stuff they make for cloth baby diapers would take the stink out of my workout clothes. Mine have reached that point where they have an. . . odor even when they come out of the clean laundry basket.

  7. The sport washes usually work really well. I’ve tried the Tide version but couldn’t stand how ‘perfumed’ my clothes smelled after washing (we usually use unscented detergents). The Fabreeze isn’t as strong but I felt like it didn’t really clean my workout gear, just covered it up. My favorites are Pro-Wash and Atsko Sport Wash, both of which I order through Amazon. I am also a runner and sweat like a dog, and these have worked on clothes that have been sitting for several days. Good luck!

  8. I wish my clothes stank from working out–mostly I just smell like spit-up.

    Bac-Out will destink your work out clothes. You can add it to your washer or do a pre-soak with it. I toss everything stinky in the laundry sink, fill with hot water, add 1/4 cup of Bac-out and let it sit overnight. Just wash as normal in the morning.

  9. My husband and I were both training for a half last year and the amount of stinking laundry was ridiculous. I discovered that if you put some plain white vinegar in with the loads (especially with the technical shirts) it gets rid of the smell. So much less expensive than the special detergents they sell.

  10. I completely understand your training obsession. The gym is my hobby, my passion, my therapy, my addiction. Today I realized I am in a position economically that I have to cancel my gym membership. I cried (like SOBBING crying, there was literally a puddle on my kitchen table made up for just my tears as well as on my husbands shoulder) for 40 minutes, and then my sister messaged me on skype saying “hey, early christmas present – surprise! Gym money.” and then I cried again because I was so close to losing it. I mean, fuck it I have no idea where rent money is coming from or how I will buy the 300 dollars worth of course lit I need in a couple weeks as long as I have the gym to zen me out and take the pain away I’ll be alright.

    I have this mental block I hit at 75kg (about 165 pounds) and I completely freak out and shove my face full of carby foods. I don’t eat carbs because my raging sugar addiction is BAD you guys. But when I get to 75kgs and I can see I’m about to go under that I freak out and I can’t help myself. Now this is all to do with anxieties about abuse in the past and other such delicious subjects and I know this, but doesn’t make it easier to overcome. I hit 75,4kgs yesterday and it’s only because I am poor that I didn’t dive head first into a bag of chips followed by chocolate etcetc. Silver lining? Haha. Oh god. I ramble on, as I do.

  11. Agree on the sports detergent. I use Tide with sports something. Let the clothes soak in it for 1/2 hour if possible and it should start smelling better. Good luck!

  12. I read this and smile. How long ago was it — one year? two? — you were moaning about not liking to exercise. Weren’t you? Weren’t you? Did I just dream that? And look at you! You’re a jock!

    And how many posts have I read where you’ve admitted being introverted and insecure in person, despite how delightfully personable you are on your blog? And here you are heading up theatre committees and going to all sorts of meetings (um, book club, anyone?), and blossoming!

    And then there’s the old Zoot who used to make fun of her perceived lack of cooking skills, making stuff from boxes. She’s posting recipes, making scrumptious dinners and baking from scratch!

    I can’t wait to see what you accomplish next (no pressure, though… you’re awesome just as you are!).

  13. This summer it was so hot that some of my shirts smelled horrible even after being washed. Adding 1/2 cup of Borax (for a full load) with your regular detergent at the beginning of the wash cycle really does remove odors from laundry, even when washing in cold water. I’m talking dog pee, strong B.O., soured laundry, etc. Borax comes in powder form and is labeled “20 Mule Team Borax.” It has other uses, which are listed on the box. You can find it in most grocery stores in the laundry section and it costs less than $5.

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