It’s funny, many of you who were kind enough to comment here on my birthday, apologized for never commenting. As I work my way through my comments I’ve reassured all of you: I NEVER COMMENT EITHER. When I write on my blog, my standards of content are quite low because – well – it’s my blog. I don’t mind just Blah Blah Blahing on my OWN blog, but I don’t want to do that on other people’s blogs. I feel like if I take up space on their website for my words, then they should be higher quality than the words on my blog. I mean, I don’t want them wishing I hadn’t commented! Which I would never do as a blog owner SO WHY DO I THINK OTHER PEOPLE DO? Because I’m weird.
Sometimes I actually type a comment and then don’t submit it. Because I worry it’s not “good” enough. For each comment I leave somewhere, I’ve probably deleted 3 on other blogs. So, I rarely comment on blogs since I’m so paranoid that the blogger will hate it. Even though I would never think that about comments on MY blog.
But here’s another thing: When I do sometimes (if rarely) comment, I don’t ever leave my URL.
It’s weird…I KNOW…but I have a irrational concern that if I leave my URL then the blogger will think I’m just commenting so that they’ll visit my blog. And I don’t want them to think that! I want them to know I’m commenting with the purest of intentions!
Isn’t that the dumbest thing ever? I NEVER think that when people comment on my blog. As a matter of fact, I’m grateful they leave their URL so I CAN visit their blog. Why do I not apply these same standards to myself? BECAUSE I AM WEIRD.
Even though I’ve gotten better about my social insecurities, I still find that they manifest in weird ways in my life. This Fear Of Commenting. Or Fear Of Leaving My URL On A Blog Comment are the ways it manifests in blogging. But there are other manifestations in the real world too. I always leave a tip. Now – one significantly smaller than I would if I had good service (I’m a good tipper) – but still a tip nonetheless. I don’t want the person to think badly of me! Even if they never filled my diet coke.
You know what else I do at restaurants? I clean up my own table. Good service or not, I want to make the server’s job easier. Because…you know…as I’ve repeated a few times: I AM WEIRD. I just don’t want that person – that I don’t know, bringing me my food – to think I’m messy! That would be AWFUL! So I make sure before we leave that plates are stacked and trash is consolidated.
BECAUSE INSECURITIES MAKE ME WEIRD. And you? Do you do completely irrational things due to your fear of not being liked? No? Just me?