Victory Over The Cake Poppers

4th of July Cake Poppers

I made patriotic cake poppers! I’m always afraid of over-using food coloring so I went a little light on coloring the cakes. Turns out, I probably went too light as they both look a wee pastel. HOWEVER, they are still AWESOME, aren’t they? Yes. Yes, they are.

I made them earlier this week because I knew with evening boot camps and E finally coming back from Seattle, it would be harder to find time closer to Sunday when we’re having our Family dinner. Therefore, the ENTIRE TRAY of these gorgeous cake poppers has been hanging out in the fridge TAUNTING me every day since Monday. So far? I’ve only had ONE. ONE! Yay, Me! Last night I was TOTALLY craving something sweet and those thing were just calling my name. But I know…once I get the taste of one, it goes downhill from there. This was how the conversation was going in my head all night last night:

Just ONE won’t hurt you. You worked hard! Have one!
But when have you EVER eaten JUST ONE? It will be FIVE before you know it.
But you went to boot camp tonight! You can spare a few calories!
But you’ve had three GOOD days of non-binge eating. If you slip tonight you will start a downward spiral at least until Tuesday.
No you won’t! You’re stronger than that! JUST EAT ONE.
No. You are not stronger than that. Food is weakness. DO NOT GIVE IN.

What? You don’t have long arguments with yourself over food? Lucky.

But I did it. I stayed strong. Didn’t even have ONE. I had two apples, but no treats. I kept trying to allow myself some treat.

What about those chips? You should have a few of those.
NO.
What about a beer? Haven’t you earned that?
NO.

Because, if you’re like me, you know how it works. With any night of gluttony I can pinpoint ONE act that started it. ONE cake popper that led to 5 more AND THEN a beer AND THEN the chips. If you’re an emotional eater and you start that spiral, you don’t stop until you’ve made yourself sick. Last night was bad. I really WANTED to binge. I was stressing, there was twitter drama making me cringe (What? You don’t stress eat for OTHER PEOPLE? Lucky.) and housework I was avoiding. I WANTED TO EAT.

But I didn’t! I was a good girl who had her dinner before boot camp and then a post-workout snack…and then went to bed without adding any more to that at the end of the day. It really is the small victories you have to celebrate when you’re trying to make big changes in your life. And avoiding those gorgeous red, white and blue bites of evil last night? HUGE VICTORY.