This Story Would Be Better If I Could Provide Audio

(And also? This will be one of the many entries my child will request I delete once she gets old enough to be embarrassed by such things.)

NikkiZ always seems to need to go potty when we’re in the weird public places we (a) Never go to and therefore don’t know where the bathrooms are or (b) Would rather not use the bathrooms at due to possibility of contamination. She’s potty-trained enough now to hold it for short periods of time, but this weekend? It wasn’t an option. We were at the civic center downtown to get tickets and we had walked there about 4 blocks from the van. So, asking her to hold it? Not really an option.

I hunted down a bathroom that had only three stalls, leaving only the handicap one open. I don’t like using the handicap bathroom if I can avoid it, but this was an emergency. I put NikkiZ on the toilet and she immediately started grunting (Me: Great.) and said, while grunting, “Mom. Go out there and wait.” Pointing to the door of the stall.

I informed her that I did not want to leave her in the stall by herself, she would just have to tolerate me being in there with her. So, while continuing to grrrrrunt she said, “Okay. Then…stand up all the way against the wall.”

Essentially? She was banishing me to the far end of the stall so she could have the privacy she needed while she pooped. And hearing a 3-year old try to order such a thing while pooping? Is quite funny. As the lady in the stall next to us indicated by laughing out loud.

Hearing the disembodied voice laughing from the stall next to us? Caught NikkiZ off guard. I don’t know if she’s ever really considered how easy it is to hear through the stalls. She said – still while grunting – “What’s that voice? What’s that laughing?” This, of course, cracked me up as I started just finding the whole situation hysterical. NikkiZ then started laughing – still while grunting – because she is physically unable to hear laughter and not respond in the same way. Even if she has no idea what’s funny. If you’re laughing? She will too, while trying her best to figure out what is so funny.

When she was done with the laughing and the pooping she said, “Heh. I’m funny, Mom. And lots of times pooping is funny too.”

Yes. Yes it is.