She Only Hates Bedtime More…


NikkiZ hates having her picture taken. HATES IT. I am sure this is all my fault as I have chased her around with a camera as soon as I was able to leave the bed after her birth. When I say, “Smile!” she either ignores me completely…

Gift from Grammy

Or she gives me this god-awful “smile” that looks like she’s being tortured.


So. Now I have learned to position myself in weird places (on the ground, in a pool, upside down, etc…) so that I can have the camera aimed at her when she smiles on her own.

A Real Smile

So – have you had a child like this? Will she ever start to smile for me or will she always scowl the second she sees the Nikon strap around my neck? Maybe I should start bribing her? I mean – I don’t mind the candid shots – I actually love them. But it would be nice to periodically show she’s happy and not dreadfully pissed off.

Maybe Next Year I’ll Shower

I’m not bored, but I’m extremely pissed off that I forgot cornbread mix at the grocery store so instead of writing about that, I’ll do this.

A year ago I had a 12-year-old and a 1-and-a-half year old. I had just returned from BlogHer where my post-miscarriage period had turned me into a troll. Of course, it wasn’t all about being a troll. It was also about being shat upon. LITERALLY. I also observed a 3am Thanksgiving Meal that my crazy friends thought was a good idea. And of course – the most important thing I did in July of 2007 was read some book.

Today I have a kid that’s about to be in the EIGHT FREAKIN’ GRADE. What the hell? How did I get so old? I also have a 2 1/2 year old who is almost potty-trained and almost insane. She likes to use words like “Probably” and “Ridiculous” but says them incorrectly making the entire world melt around her. I have an infant who is still make me crazy with a perfect mix of exhaustion and cuteness.

A year from now I hope to be rested. I’ll probably still be struggling with diet and exercise, but hopefully closer to where I want to be. I’ll be on the verge of sending my old son off to high school and therefore I’ll be crying a lot. I’ll have a toddler again so will undoubtedly be writing a lot of entries about bruises and scrapes. (From him, not me.) We won’t be pregnant (hopefully) since we’re putting attempting that again off for a few years. We should have (finally) redone our closet after the original systems collapsed on our heads. Our bedroom will be painted and I may have finally found a place for all the crap we’ve stored in our bedroom for the last three years since we bought the house.

So – where were you July 2007? Where do you hope to be in July 2009? Can I store the crap in my bedroom at your house? Thanks.

Best Hand-Me-Down EVAH.

The Queens Of The Castle

The above dress was given as a hand-me-down from my friend Stacey’s daughter to NikkiZ. It’s a little big for her, but it just makes it look a bit more formal as it hangs all the way to the floor, making her feel even more like a princess than she would if it fit. She has worn this almost once a day since we brought it home last week. It became a HUGE deal to get her out of the dress for any sort of activity where Ariel’s Bridal Gown might be inappropriate (like bathtime). Just when I was starting to wish we had never accepted the costume from Leah, MrZ discovered a certain power the dress possessed. The power to DISCIPLINE.

Whenever NikkiZ did something she shouldn’t do? MrZ discovered that all it took was the threat to take the “Princess Dress” away and NikkiZ would shape up almost immediately. Use the potty? Yep. Clean up her toys? Yep. Mow the grass? Sure! She did everything we asked as long as we wouldn’t take away her precious dress.

I’m totally writing a parenting book now.

Miscellany Motherhood

Me Too!

My daughter is currently watching Yo! Gabba! Gabba! (Hate!) while spilling oatmeal all over the floor and my son (the small one) is currently pooping loud enough that it woke up the dogs. My life is so glamorous I don’t know what to do with myself.

We’ve been visiting with my Mom who is in town until tomorrow and just enjoying some calm family time. We did take an ice-cream break yesterday and NikkiZ decided to break the norm and order chocolate instead of vanilla. (Pronounced and confusing people everywhere: “Banana”.) I am now realizing why Vanilla is a preferred flavor.

Cleanliness is NOT next to Motherhood

Not much else to say, I think I’m about to hit the recycling center before the beer bottles in my garage team up and become some sort of sentient hops being that overtakes our home. What are your plans for today? Do they involve glass monsters that smell like a frat house? I bet they don’t.

Just Curious…

Anyone else kinda in the mood to kick their feed reader in the ass for constantly reminding them that they are NOT at BlogHer but everyone else is? I’m tempted to unsubscribe to certain blogs just so I can avoid all of the “OMG. BlogHer Is So Awesome!” entries. Sob.