The non-existant retrospective

Everyone is doing some version of “2007 In Review” these last few days. I’m desperate to join the crowds but everytime I look back on the year, I just think: It was good. That seems to be lacking a little something, don’t you think?

I mean – I finished my first marathon. That’s pretty exciting. I got pregnant, had a miscarriage, and got pregnant again. I guess that’s something to pontificate upon. I was part of the Harry Potter frenzy – that was probably the most fun part of the year. The two weeks surrounding the movie and the book release. MrZ remodeled our kitchen. NikkiZ learned to curse. And LilZ has continued his unstoppable growth spurt. It’s been a great year, but I’m not really sure how to really break that down in anything other than an list. So – there was your list. You just missed it. Feel free to go back and read it again.

I think that’s why I blog – so I don’t have to actually remember what has happened in the past four years.

Here’s to 2008: May my blog keep better track of our ups and downs than my brain. Amen.

Another one of the many reasons my son is SUPER ROCKIN’ AWESOME

Several weeks ago, we took NikkiZ to the mall so she could see Santa and so we could do a Build-A-Bear. LilZ did one years and years ago, and we wanted to take NikkiZ. LilZ and I had decided we would each do one too because I had always wanted to do one and he kinda wanted another one. There’s something about the concept of making your own stuffed animal, if you were/are a stuffed animal kind of person, that is so irresistible.

I chickened out at the last minute though, because I got embarrassed. MrZ’s parents had come with us and for some reason I was afraid they’d think I was weird if I did one, so I wussed out. (Yes. I’m well aware of how stupid that is. Thank you.) Afterwards, LilZ was really disappointed in me. Kinda like, “Seriously, Mom? You were SCARED to make a BEAR?” I told him I promised I’d come back and do it some other time. Like, maybe when the store was empty and I was by myself.

Fast forward several weeks and LilZ asks if someone can take him to the mall to get my Christmas present. I asked my sister-in-law to call him the next time she was headed there, and she did. On Christmas morning I opened my gift from him, and guess what it was? A Gift Card to Build-A-Bear! I thought that was such an incredibly thoughtful gift, and personal, that I vowed I’d do one ASAP.

We went this weekend, the weekend after Christmas when the mall was packed, and I built me a damn bear! It was so much fun! Although, I maybe acted like I was letting NikkiZ make it (Can you blame me?) but it was still cool. I didn’t do the birth certificate because I couldn’t think of a name. We finally decided on Sunday that I’d name it Dexter, after my new favorite serial killer/super hero. (What? Think it’s possibly an inappropriate name? Oh well. Too late.)

With the Build-A-Bears
NikkiZ with our creations. She’s kind enough to treat Dexter like one of her own.

I need a nap.

This weekend has been very busy. Sometimes I say that and feel it’s an extreme understatement. I don’t think I ever stopped going all weekend. And it’s not even noon on Sunday yet. We’re going to do Christmas at MrZ’s parents today and I’m looking forward to the break. Weekends like this would make Monday hurt that much worse, but lucky for me – I have Monday off.

I’ve got a lot of cool things to mention from the weekend (I had straight hair for a few hours!) but I never like to tell stories before I post the pictures, and right now I just don’t even have that time. So – you just have to know I have stories to tell. The end.

I’ve also been very contemplative this weekend. I’m guessing it’s because the new year is looming around the corner and I feel like I need to achieve some sort of perspective to start the year off right. I’ve been thinking a lot about the steps I’ve been trying to take to become the woman I aspire to be. How do I keep that progress rolling even amidst new babies and growing family needs? These thoughts have required that I look at ways I’ve maybe failed myself this year, and that can be enlightening and incredibly damn depressing.

Of course – I’m in this mindset listening to my daughter scream, “Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!” over and over again because she just heard her Daddy yell that at the television. It’s hard to contemplate life changes when you’re trying to hide your giggles from a toddler.