Things that dropped my jaw this week…

  • I sat at an intersection where a school bus stopped to open it’s doors at a railroad crossing. Like they are legally required to do. Do you know what the guy driving the van behind the bus did? Honked. He honked his horn at the school bus who was doing what the back of the bus says it will do in BIG BLACK LETTERS. Jackhole.
  • My son crawled out of bed and grabbed his cell phone and started texting someone at 6:50am. Kids these days and their texting. He can’t even speak until he’s had his shower, but he can text.
  • I sat at the bagel place in my parking space and waited for the drive-thru line to move because it was long enough that it was actually snaking behind my car, blocking me in. I’ve seen this happen before and know to park elsewhere if I’m in a hurry, so I didn’t freak out. I just waited. And each time the line moved, the people moved forward, continuing to keep me blocked in. My bright white reverse lights were on about 2 feet from their car yet none of them left a space for me to back out. Three cars pulled through and continued blocking me. I’m not sure which would me me feel better, that they were completely oblivious to me sitting there, or that they were assholes and doing it intentionally.
  • I was behind someone in line at target who was buying 28 jars of mayonnaise. I counted. And that was all they were buying. Do you know how hard it was to resist the urge to ask what they were going to do with all of that mayonnaise? IT KILLED ME.
  • MrZ told NikkiZ tonight that he loved her. Do you know what she said back to him? “I yuv you too, daddy.” WTF? When did she start speaking in complete sentences with properly punctuated pauses? And why didn’t she say that to ME first?
  • The two girls who are staying with me this week both admitted to not liking raw, sliced tomatoes with their meals. I thought everyone born in the south ate sliced raw tomatoes. Seriously. I thought it was part of the genetic makeup of a Southerner. That and a love for pinto beans and corn bread. They must secretly be Yankees. I need to talk to Stace about that. Her girls need to be reprogrammed.