• Now my secretary licks her ass and barks at birds.

    I’m at home now. NikkiZ had exhausted her “quiet” mode (The last entry was a slight exaggeration. She was really only noisy when I was the only one in the office, and torturing her for entertainment. She became Angelic Quiet Baby when my coworkers were there – she’s no fool.) and I decided to work the rest of the day from home. Her appointment is in a couple of hours anyway. My dogs think they have died and gone to heaven, they’re all, “You’re home! You’re home! Give us treats and scratch our backs!”

    My cats, on the other hand, are not that impressed because when I’m home I kick them off the back of the couches – their favorite napping spots. They know they aren’t allowed to sleep there, but they also know when we’re not home we can’t beat them. So, they sleep there all day while we’re at work. We know this by the tons of cat hair left behind as evidence. Cats are too smart to be obedient, but also too cute to eat for dinner.