Betty Crocker? Me?


Want a piece of cake?

Instead of pies for tomorrow’s Christmas dinner, LilZ and I decided we’d bake some cakes! This one was SUPPOSED to be a red velvet cake. I took the two pieces out of the oven, let them cool, and then decided it was time to ice them. The first layer went okay, the icing went on without incident. Then, when I put the second layer on top and started icing the sides? The cake started SINKING.


It was like it was shrinking before my eyes. And then as it shrunk, the top layer started sliding OFF of the bottom layer. I was trying to hold the two pieces together with more icing but the cakes just got SHORTER and SHORTER and more and more CROOKED.

And the more I tried to fix it? The messier it got.

THIS is why I do NOT bake.

And as I’m yelling to MrZ in the bedroom (while laughing my KRAZEE laughter) “It’s a MUTINY. The cake is actually FIGHTING me.” Do you know what he says? He says:

“You could have just asked my sister to bake a cake.”

Yes, but would hers have looked as artistic as mine? No. It probably would have been perfect and BORING. Mine? Is like a sculpture. Beautiful in it’s hideousness.

Right? RIGHT?


I decided not to open up the other can of icing. Why waste it, there is no way I’m serving this cake tomorrow. We’ll have a piece of it tonight to see if it’s poisonous. If it’s not? I’ll cut people pieces to try tomorrow, but there is NO WAY I’m actually serving it as a dessert.

Luckilly, my Orange Dreamsicle Cake looks beautiful. I’m batting 500, not so bad if you think about it.