Month: October 2004

Busy. Finally.

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Yeah! I’m Busy! Whee!

Seriously. I have a crap-load of work to do today. It feels really good. That’s one of the down sides to working for a contractor – there is not ALWAYS work to be done. But today? I have tons! Do you want to help? It’s a lot of typing. Typing words like “Cyprinidae” and “anomalum”. Yeah. Find those words in spellcheck.

I’m so busy I havent taken a lunch break yet. And we all know that I am at target no later than 11a.m. everyday for my lunch break. Do you think they’ll send out a search party if I’m not there by noon? Probably. I might not even go to Target today.

*snerk*

Who am I kidding? We all know that’s a BIG. FAT. (not obnoxious though) LIE. I mean – the saying is NOT “Better NEVER than LATE!” Especially not when a trip to Target is involved.

My Lips are Sealed

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I, Zoot, do hereby proclaim the following list of sentences/phrases and related variations of said list, to no longer be spoken from my lips. If the situations calls for one/any/all of these phrases to be used – the person responsible for inciting the need for these statements/exclamations/questions will be beaten. With wet noodles. Wet SPINACH noodles.

1. Put your socks in the hamper. The dog will eat them if you dont. I will not buy you new socks if the dog eats all of your old ones.
2. Bring your bike inside. Are you asking that someone steal it?
3. Don’t leave your drink on the windowsill. The animals will knock it over.
4. Wet towels do NOT belong on your floor. They’ll stink up the place.
5. Did you brush your teeth? Do you WANT cavities?
6. Did you do your times tables? I don’t care if you can use a calculator.
7. Please do not poot stinky poots in my kitchen. There’s FOOD in here.
8. Please do not poot stinky poots in my bedroom. I SLEEP in there.
9. Quit barking at Cody and Jake!
10. Only throw food in the KITCHEN garbage can.
11. Dont walk in the parking lot without shoes on. Do you want to step on broken glass?
12. Dont walk in the poopy field without shoes on. Not everyone cleans up their dog poop like we do.

I also reserve the right to add to this list as I see fit. If there is any debate as to whether or not any actions caused any of these phrases (or their variations) to be spoken, my word will be the final word.

What Would You Do?

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Remember how I mentioned that the rumor was that “they” say that since Halloween falls on a Sunday this year, we should Trick-or-Treat on Saturday? Well the newspaper printed an article saying that “They” are the cities mayors and that “They” SUGGEST that people Trick-or-Treat on Saturday instead of Sunday. However – several churches are coming out and saying that they Do. Not. Care. because they recognize that Halloween is just a holiday where kids dress up and get candy – nothing more – so there is nothing wrong with Trick-or-Treating the same day you go to church.

So, it should come as no suprise, I’m sure, that we are going to try to go both nights. I’m all for maximizing the QUANTITY of candy we get in order to assure we get a decent amount of high QUALITY of candy.

It’s a science…really.