Daily Dose of Smart-Ass

Churches in this town like to change their marquees to have inspirational quotes or words of wisdom. The church I saw today said

“Wal-Mart Is Not The Only Saving Place”

Of course not. We have two Super-Targets in this town. And right now? They have all of their groovy picnic and summertime goodies on sale 30% off. If I’m going to hell, I want to make sure I have some Hot Pink Citronella Candles and Aqua Striped Pool floats to take with me.


23 thoughts on “Daily Dose of Smart-Ass”

  1. I tell ya…is there ANYTHING better than checking on your blogrolled links and seeing this: “Zoot…yes! Something new to read!” I think not ;-)

  2. Super Target, hmm? I wish we had one of those. I loooove target. They have such cute things these days! I suppose it’s a good thing that I don’t have a lot of room for things, that way I buy less there.

  3. Oh I miss Super Wal-Mart and Super Target and all their sales. Heck I miss paying for things in dollars instead of pounds, it’s a huge difference. Thanks for the laughs!

  4. i’m addicted to Target’s pineapple soda – in the little bottles. they’re cute and oh so yummy. and anything lime green or orange colored… they have so much lime green and orange goodness. and all the little kid gardening stuff… soooo cute!

  5. Do you know while I was in Tampa this last week I saw a WalmartgroceryONLY store? How weird is that?

    You’ve converted me from walmart to a target girl. :)

  6. I HATE it when churches put cutsey sayings on their marquees. They’re SO STUPID.

    No Target in Canada. I really miss Target. ‘snif.

  7. Yeah..I’m with Nicole. Super-Targets? I’m a little frightened as to what that might entail. I’m not quite sure what it would be. Would it be like a Target+Home Depot+Starbucks+AOL Co-Owned by Time Warner and Disney?

  8. ooooh…..super target! i do enough damage in regular ol’ target.

    and we went with the obnoxious bright orange picnic goodies! lol

  9. a little off topic but i thought you should know that i went to the mall yesterday and saw season 1 DVD of the Jem cartoon. after screaming in delight and shock (and scaring the hell out of the boyfriend) i snatched it up quicker than you can sing the theme song!!! (to the bewilderment and looks of disgust/pity from said boyfriend… they just dont understand.)

  10. “Hot Pink Citronella Candles and Aqua Striped Pool floats”. What time do we need to be there for the party at your house. Is your place the one with the pink flamingo lawn ornament?

  11. Who ARE these church marquee people? Are they missionaries who missed their calling as marketing strategists? Do they sit up at night planning these numbnut messages or do they attend church marquee semniars, “how to attract new congregation memebers”. Glad to see the Zoot is TOO smart for them such tricks . . Feh.

  12. I think my all-time favorite church marquee is:

    Don’t make me come down there.

    But the real point of your post is to celebrate the greatness and splendor that is Target, and suddenly I am convinced that the greatest tragedy of my convalescence is that I haven’t been to Target in WEEKS, I tell you. That is just so wrong.

  13. we have target greatland at home… is that kinda the same do you think? i adore target. i hate walmart with a passion. icky.

    pink candles? i love pink!

  14. Ya know there aren’t any Wal-Marts in Iraq…

    …just a bunch of Targets.

    Thanks, tip your waitress, I’m here all week.

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